church
so, its 11:30 on the east coast, and i find myself awake and unhappy. first off, i'm awake, and if you know me at all, awake is not my most natural state, specifically if its during daylight hours. secondly, i just got back from church, which has given me renewed insight into why a spiritual life has eluded me for so long.
really all that has happened is that i've been made more acutely aware of the dissatisfaction i have for church and organized religion in general. there are so many things that piss me off about church, that i don't really know where to start. so, i'll just start at the beginning of the mass.
the morning began as one of the parishoners called the congregation to attention. just sort of a polite, "hey everyone, time to pay attention cuz god's on his way in" kinda thing. of course, this isn't so bad, but what drove me nuts was that it was promptly followed with "we ask that everyone turn off any pagers and cell phones so as to create a more prayerful environment." i felt like i was in a movie theater, which isn't so off the mark, as i usually feel like the masses i attended are a sad attempt at an off-broadway production. more on that later, but let me get to the point about the cell phone. i turned to my mom and asked if that announcement was really necessary. much to my disgust, she informed me that someone at a previous mass walked up to the altar to receive communion, cell phone in hand, and had to ask the person on the other end of this obviously very important call to "hold on a sec" while they were given the body of christ.
i love shit like this. it absolutely amazes me that there are people out there that still don't understand that talking on your cell phone all the damn time is rude, obnoxious, tasteless and altogether stupid. my church is in webster, new york. there is absolutely no one so important in this small suburb that they need to be on their cell phone during the mass. once again, we must cater to the lowest common denominator in order to preserve a spiritual environment for those of us who are not stupid. "please turn off your cell phone in church" is tantamount to "do not drink the windex" or, "be careful dumbass, this coffee is motherfucking hot."
so, there was all that business about cell phones, and the rest of the mass didn't really put the joy down in my heart. my church sings everything. we sing before every scripture reading, after every scripture reading and we even sing the our father. while to some this might sound like fun, it just bothers me. as stated earlier, church is becoming more an off-broadway production and less an hour of spirituality.
"welcome to the st. paul's church variety hour with your host, that cooky, crazy pittsburgh steeler-lovin priest...faaaaather staaaaaan. "
"thanks everyone, thanks for being here today. we've got some really great readings to go through today and we've got a very special guest homilist, a priest from another congregation who is going to talk to you about the same stuff i would say, but he's a different person!!! so lets go ahead and get things started, but first, how about a round of applause for our band, the st. paul's choir as lead by paul schaffer."
maybe i'm just too cynical, but the congregation looked like a group of cattle, herded into the church for one hour and then set free to graze for the rest of the week. people mumble amen, recite when they have to, and i'm sure that none of them even really know what they're saying. i mean, why go to church if it doesn't mean anything to you?
anyway, i suppose this is part of the reason i want to get into philosophy of religion. part of me is fascinated by blind faith and why people would allow themselves to be led, and misled by an authority figure that they don't understand.
when i figure it out, i'll let you know.
really all that has happened is that i've been made more acutely aware of the dissatisfaction i have for church and organized religion in general. there are so many things that piss me off about church, that i don't really know where to start. so, i'll just start at the beginning of the mass.
the morning began as one of the parishoners called the congregation to attention. just sort of a polite, "hey everyone, time to pay attention cuz god's on his way in" kinda thing. of course, this isn't so bad, but what drove me nuts was that it was promptly followed with "we ask that everyone turn off any pagers and cell phones so as to create a more prayerful environment." i felt like i was in a movie theater, which isn't so off the mark, as i usually feel like the masses i attended are a sad attempt at an off-broadway production. more on that later, but let me get to the point about the cell phone. i turned to my mom and asked if that announcement was really necessary. much to my disgust, she informed me that someone at a previous mass walked up to the altar to receive communion, cell phone in hand, and had to ask the person on the other end of this obviously very important call to "hold on a sec" while they were given the body of christ.
i love shit like this. it absolutely amazes me that there are people out there that still don't understand that talking on your cell phone all the damn time is rude, obnoxious, tasteless and altogether stupid. my church is in webster, new york. there is absolutely no one so important in this small suburb that they need to be on their cell phone during the mass. once again, we must cater to the lowest common denominator in order to preserve a spiritual environment for those of us who are not stupid. "please turn off your cell phone in church" is tantamount to "do not drink the windex" or, "be careful dumbass, this coffee is motherfucking hot."
so, there was all that business about cell phones, and the rest of the mass didn't really put the joy down in my heart. my church sings everything. we sing before every scripture reading, after every scripture reading and we even sing the our father. while to some this might sound like fun, it just bothers me. as stated earlier, church is becoming more an off-broadway production and less an hour of spirituality.
"welcome to the st. paul's church variety hour with your host, that cooky, crazy pittsburgh steeler-lovin priest...faaaaather staaaaaan. "
"thanks everyone, thanks for being here today. we've got some really great readings to go through today and we've got a very special guest homilist, a priest from another congregation who is going to talk to you about the same stuff i would say, but he's a different person!!! so lets go ahead and get things started, but first, how about a round of applause for our band, the st. paul's choir as lead by paul schaffer."
maybe i'm just too cynical, but the congregation looked like a group of cattle, herded into the church for one hour and then set free to graze for the rest of the week. people mumble amen, recite when they have to, and i'm sure that none of them even really know what they're saying. i mean, why go to church if it doesn't mean anything to you?
anyway, i suppose this is part of the reason i want to get into philosophy of religion. part of me is fascinated by blind faith and why people would allow themselves to be led, and misled by an authority figure that they don't understand.
when i figure it out, i'll let you know.
posted by R. Peeps at 11:40 AM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ah, church.
Once, when I was a kid, I decided that when people recited the Lord's Prayer together in that dull unison monotone, it sounded a little too much like zombies for my liking. So I decided to act it out all theatrical-like and at least try to make it sound interesting.
Ohhh, the nasty looks I got. Lesson learned: conformity before sincerity.
(Sorry about the previous deleted post; crappy typers like moi should proofread.)
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