that's right motherfucker
this is the day after thanksgiving and i'm at work and this is what i have to say:
thank you for calling customer service, this is rob speaking how can i help you? ok, can i have your fleet number. no of course you wouldn't know your fleet number, ok, please give me the name of your company. i'm sorry, can you mumble a little bit more so i can't understand even one word that you're trying to spit out of your big fat mouth. ok, i've used my telepathic super-csr powers to deduce what company name you were talking about and have somehow managed to open up your fucking account. for security purposes can you please give me the password you established when you first applied for the account? no, of course not, why would you be responsible enough to know the only fucking security measure we have in place. what is the phone number that you're at right now. good, it matches what we have in our system, let me give you a call back so that i can confirm your identity. ringring...ringring, come on motherfucker you knew i was calling, ring, HELLO! hi, this is rob, we were just speaking a moment ago about your credit card. WHO? WHO IS THIS??? its me, rob, we were talking literally 5 seconds ago, i told you i was calling you back. OH RIGHT RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU WANT? well, you called me, i just needed to confirm your identity before we did anything to your account. so, what can i do for you? oh good, you want to cancel the 25 existing cards on your account and activated 25 new ones. sure, why not, i've already wasted 15 minutes trying to help you while 10 people are waiting for me with real issues, why don't i waste an additional half hour or so activating cards for you when there's actually nothing wrong with your existing cards, you just think that its easier to cancel the old ones and activate the new ones. AWESOME, I'D LOVE TO, ESPECIALLY SINCE I'M THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON HERE ANSWERING CALLS. PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME CATER TO YOUR RIDICULOUS WHIMS. let me tend to your ineptitude, let me fawn all over every stupid asinine question you ask me. and then, when we're done, why don't i bend over my tiny little desk, grab hold of my monitor and let you sodomize me as i'm answering the next call in line. does that sound good to you, you bitch-bastard of a caller.
fuck all.
happy fucking thanksgiving motherfuckers.
hi ho!
thank you for calling customer service, this is rob speaking how can i help you? ok, can i have your fleet number. no of course you wouldn't know your fleet number, ok, please give me the name of your company. i'm sorry, can you mumble a little bit more so i can't understand even one word that you're trying to spit out of your big fat mouth. ok, i've used my telepathic super-csr powers to deduce what company name you were talking about and have somehow managed to open up your fucking account. for security purposes can you please give me the password you established when you first applied for the account? no, of course not, why would you be responsible enough to know the only fucking security measure we have in place. what is the phone number that you're at right now. good, it matches what we have in our system, let me give you a call back so that i can confirm your identity. ringring...ringring, come on motherfucker you knew i was calling, ring, HELLO! hi, this is rob, we were just speaking a moment ago about your credit card. WHO? WHO IS THIS??? its me, rob, we were talking literally 5 seconds ago, i told you i was calling you back. OH RIGHT RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU WANT? well, you called me, i just needed to confirm your identity before we did anything to your account. so, what can i do for you? oh good, you want to cancel the 25 existing cards on your account and activated 25 new ones. sure, why not, i've already wasted 15 minutes trying to help you while 10 people are waiting for me with real issues, why don't i waste an additional half hour or so activating cards for you when there's actually nothing wrong with your existing cards, you just think that its easier to cancel the old ones and activate the new ones. AWESOME, I'D LOVE TO, ESPECIALLY SINCE I'M THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON HERE ANSWERING CALLS. PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME CATER TO YOUR RIDICULOUS WHIMS. let me tend to your ineptitude, let me fawn all over every stupid asinine question you ask me. and then, when we're done, why don't i bend over my tiny little desk, grab hold of my monitor and let you sodomize me as i'm answering the next call in line. does that sound good to you, you bitch-bastard of a caller.
fuck all.
happy fucking thanksgiving motherfuckers.
hi ho!
posted by R. Peeps at 3:26 PM
1 Comments:
Hi, I have this shiny plasic thing in my wallet but when I give it to the magic reader it doesn't do anything. Can you help me? No I don't...but I think it starts with 1234...yeah, definately starts with 1234. Oh, no, I didn't realize all of them start with the same four numbers. No, I'm on my cell phone because I'm enjoying my holiday with my family.
Ok, for real though - that tofurkey better have been laced with a ton of tryptophan or you totally got screwed; no matter how good it tastes. Silly Californians. I love you guys.
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