being drafted

last night i had a dream where i was being drafted by the US army. in the dream i refused to be drafted, and in fact delivered quite a moving and heartfelt monologue to the draft administrators and told them they could lock me up, but there was no way i was going to war. the most fun part of the dream was when they didn't lock me up, but instead sat me down like we were going to be friends (in the dream, part of me even felt like maybe i had impressed them with my ballsiness and they wanted to talk to me) and offered me a drink. i watched my two interrogators drink of the same flask from which they had offered me some brandy or scotch or whatever, but refused to drink it, assuming that they were playing nice until the drugs kicked in. one of them even asked me if it comforted me to see them drinking from the same flask, to which i replied "no," at which point they threw their snifters at me and i felt the glass shattering on me and the liquid soaked into my shirt. pretty soon i started to feel drugged and they started the whole brainwashing me thing. somewhere around here is when i woke up, and was so startled that i just sorta lied there awake for a while. soon, suzanne tossed and i immediately asked her if she was awake, because i was so thrashed by this dream that i ended up crying in her arms (i'm a sensitive guy) until she could calm me down. i'm usually not too affected by my dreams, especially when they aren't very specifically emotional (like the aforementioned dream), so it surprised me that i was so affected by this one.
i think, and suzanne pretty much agrees, that this dream is indicative of me feeling as if i have no control, even when i make a solid decision and try to stick to it. it sucks because i've finally started coping with my job and have been trying to balance it with real life, but then i have a dream like this and it makes me feel like i'm not making any progress.
anyway, it was a fucked up dream.