dinner party...with clarification

dinner and drinking...
while drinking and dinner seem pretty self explanatory, the rest of the night took a sudden turn as we imbibed more booze and devoured some bourguignon.

naked dish-washing...
when two friends make a bet about the status of maryland and it's position on the mason-dixon line and the terms of the bet are that the loser has to do the dishes naked, you end up with one angry, naked texan.

arm wrestling for the battle of the sexes...
i don't even know how this started, but it turned into a battle royale (with cheese) as each party-goer lined up at the coffee table and tried to take it "over the top" (raise your hand if you understand that obscure sylvester stallone reference).

more drinking...
you really burn off some alcohol arm-wrestling, so we needed to drink more.

oil pastels on blank canvas...
as the rest of the wine began to do its work, some people were getting ready to head home. as i walked them out the door to catch their cab i suggested to suzanne that she pull out the blank canvas and some oil pastels so the remaining guests could enjoy a little art-time. by the time i came back (literally the time it takes to smoke a cigarette and breath some refreshing, soberingly cold air) the following was happening.

bleeding on canvas...
call it creative license, call it devotion to art, call it blind intoxication, whatever it was, the end result was a slash through the middle of the canvas (which transferred onto the coffee table, but battle scars make it more valuable anyway), and drops of blood scattered sparingly in aesthetically pleasing places.

tulip/rose eating chased with OE...
somewhere along the way we ran out of wine and had to run to our local, 24 hour bodega to get some mexican beer and a couple of Old English forties. as we continue to drink, we're standing at the kitchen counter when suddenly our friend bends over as if to smell the tulips someone had brought, but much to my surprise he put one in his mouth and bit it off. i'm not one to shy away from a challenge, so i followed suit and ate a tulip myself. we chased with OE and celebrated the intensity of a shared moment. i didn't want to stop there though, so i ripped off a rosebud and ate that whole too (roses don't taste as good as tulips). the rose didn't go down as smooth so i definitely needed another big swig of OE (wouldn't this make a great commercial for OE?). Now things are starting to slow down a little bit, people are heading home and the party is wrapping up.

two forgotten bags...
once everyone is gone, we realize that there are two bags on our bed that are not ours. we considered this a sign of a successful party...if people forget personal belongings because they're so trashed, we did our job.

excessive, annoying clean-up...
once the place was finally empty, it became glaringly obvious how much we drank over the course of the night. there were beer bottles, wine bottles, plastic cups, forties, a bloody piece of art, tulip stems, rose stems and more of the like. i did as much as i could to clean up, but knew i had to get to bed soon, because the following morning i started a job, and it was not going to be a fun day based on how drunk i was feeling.

what more can i say? aside from how much i appreciate suzanne's dedication to being an amazing hostess and how much i appreciate our friends for always somehow managing to take it one stop further, i don't think there is much else i can say.